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absent father/ child mind

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TamaraP
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Hi Ernst,

There is a lot of emphasis on the separation trauma regarding the mother. How does it reflect in the chart when there is a separation from the father especially for girls in early childhood? Girls have a special connection to the opposite gender parent, as boys have too. I totally understand the outstanding effect of problems in bonding with the mother. Because she is somehow the source. When I was 3 my mother separated from my father. He disappeared a couple of years to appear again when my brother and I already have forgotten who he was. I have the feeling that sth so profound is missing of this quality of being in touch with the love of ones father. Do we classically have to focus on Sun and Saturn in examining that?

Thank you

 

Tamara

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Ernst Wilhelm
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the degree of damage that separation from father will cause is founded on the original separation trauma. After the original separation trauma of the mother the female child eventually bonds to father as her first Other the One. It's important that the female child as it ends the mercury age or starts the Venus age grows out of this naturally and on her own terms. If the father disappears or rejects her or makes her feel abandoned before she has grown out of this bond naturally, then she gets her first trauma that causes her to relive the original separation trauma and so after that she is strongly acting out of this trauma and it will dramatically affect her relationship life until it is healed. This trauma that causes that reliving usually happens with our first lover, but it can happen with the opposite gender parent as well. The wall comes tumbling down with the father, not the first lover and after that wall of resistance from the original seperation trauma comes tumbling down, it is more prone to tumbling down afterwards. I explained all this in one of the early videos. 

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TamaraP
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@ernst thank you for answering this question! I watched all the videos ( 1kg add. weight). It felt kind of abstract to me, the father issue, but I think I got it. In the seventies it was not usual that the mothers could bond with their child right after birth in the hospitals. And when children after birth had to stay in the hospital for some weeks or longer, due to health reasons, the possibility to bond with the mother was going towards 0. Fortunately, today we have understood the importance of being close to the baby from birth on.

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Ernst Wilhelm
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I am glad to hear that where you are bonding with babies is considered important from birth. In US hospitals its still very neglected. 

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TamaraP
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@ernst oh wow, I thought they made the shift also in US!! Ok I can only speak for Germany, France maybe too. My son was born in a hospital mainly led by midwife’s (you choose your hospital for birth).There the doctors come into play when there is really no other way. Also the classical hospitals here emphasise the proximity of baby and mother right after birth. Before birth you have the right to choose a midwife accompanying the pregnancy, not the birth, but after birth they also accompany the first weeks with the newborn. There is the trend over the last years to not facilitate anymore so much the availability of midwife’s, which is sad. But nevertheless, when a baby is born, all is done to establish the very close physical connection between both. Breastfeeding is emphasised a lot, this wasn’t, many years ago. I think a lot of separation trauma is going on already because of how hospitals work.

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Ernst Wilhelm
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yes, US hospitals are coorporations, not govt owned. The govt has a lot of incentive to keep the people healthy as healthy people can maintain a country and culture and cost less tax money in the future. But coorporations have no such incentives. In the US, a few painkillers given at the hospital are billed at 400.00, but if the doctor says to get and you go to pharmacy you get 20 of them for 20.00. That's why I have always said, if I need to go to hospital I will go to germany! All my uncles were famous surgeons in germany and all very good people performing surgical miracles on birth defects, accidents and other mishaps. My uncle saved my mom's life when I was three when she passed out and fell over due to a tubal pregnancy. He took one look at her and knew what happened, rushed her to the hospital and did an emergency operation. 

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TamaraP
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@ernst I am glad that your mother was able to receive help so quickly and effectively! And, of course, I hope you never have to go to any hospital! The healthcare system here seems to be quite good in comparison. However, in Germany, there has been a negative trend against homeopathy and the protected profession of naturopathy in recent years. The training for naturopaths might soon be abolished, but I hope that the situation will still turn around. Due to COVID-19, the image of natural medicine has deteriorated even more now. I hope that access to natural remedies will never be blocked and that conventional medicine will integrate with naturopathy.

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Ernst Wilhelm
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Yes, Germany is getting strict with natural healing methods and I hope that germany which has produced so many great minds in psychology will turn to mind body healing and not drugs. 

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