Musings about Jupiter and Children

I've recently become a parent and it's completely changed my outlook on life and given me what I believe is a first glimpse of understanding what Jupiter is about. Even though it may be rudimentary at best, I'd like to share what I've learned in the hopes that it might help others.

First of all, I'd like to share that prior to this I was not Jupiterian in the slightest. I've always struggled with believing in anything (i. e. spiritually) and also with finding my purpose in life. I've also experienced some major depressive episodes while running Rahu Dasha during my adolescence. 

I was on the fence about having children. The media coverage of women who regret becoming a mother, experience postpartum depression, and of people who choose not to have children made me anxious I would feel that way. I didn't want to do that to anyone. I could see myself having children, but it was never a life goal of mine. I worked really hard to have hobbies and a life of my own prior to having a child, so I wouldn't put that burden on a child.

Nothing could have prepared me for what it would be like to have a child. For the first time in my life I've experienced pure, unbridled joy (Jupiter rules joy giving wisdom). I feel like my heart has grown four sizes (Jupiter is associated with growth). I never knew I was capable of such deep, unconditional love. Even when I'm sleepless and tired, it's a seemingly endless well (Jupiter is charitable and doesn't expect anything in return). No love I've felt before compares to this feeling. Everything that seemed important pales in comparison by far. 

For the first time in my life, I know exactly why I get up in the morning (Jupiter rules purpose). The choices I make are guided by purpose and the paths available to me are narrowed down significantly. What I thought would feel suffocating, feels liberating instead. I am no longer weighed down by the burden of endless choice (Mercury/Venus). 

I now understand why Venus starves Jupiter. Before having a child, I looked at the balance sheet of what life as a parent would be like. Sleepless nights, less money, less romance, give up vitality, comfort. And yet, people would assure me, it was worth it, and said I absolutely needed to experience it. I thought they were lying. Surely they only wanted others to be as miserable as they were. Now I understand what they meant. After years of working hard to achieve the comfort denied to me during an adolescence in relative poverty, they mattered little. How could this be the happiest I've ever been in my life? On paper, I should be miserable and despondent. Perhaps, like everything Jupiterian, the greatest things in life are so illusive that words fail us. Perhaps, the greatest things in life are mysteries that simply do not make sense. Like God, who can't be described, only experienced. 

When I held my child and felt that unencompassing love, I wept, because it finally dawned on me what my mother must have felt towards me all those years (I finally understood my Ketu in the 4th, whose ruler is in Jupiter's sign). I wept because I felt God's love.

I know this isn't everyone's experience and that many people and women in particular struggle postpartum. If that is or was you, my heart goes out to you. Know that it's not your fault and it's ok to ask for help. 

Personally, I feel immense gratitude for this experience and could never have anticipated how much I would change.