I’m having a tough time with Mitra Aditya. I understand Law of Potential but I do judge. Or I feel myself judging, due to shame. My mother became a drug addict and when I was young I swore to myself that I would never do that to my children. Of course I have learned that the more I resist and fear something, such as abandonment, the more I guarantee it to happen. Now I also just started learning yoga judgment and see that my own baby has some karma for unhappiness and not having happiness of his mother. I feel awful about it, like a total failure, as if I already have abandoned him although I’ve fought to be as present and as nurturing as possible. And I do mean I have had to fight for it because everyone around me doesn’t seem to know how to raise a healthy baby. So, he has a lot going on in Mitra - Sun, Venus, and Jupiter, and it is his 6th house. I’m making it my goal to have acceptance for all walks of life, all potentials. I’m guessing that the key is to not only understand how potentials work and how God walks every path, but to also release the emotions that are brought up that caused the shame and judgement. At the same time, I think my judgement is what has made my transformations positive (my lagna lord is beat up in the 8th opposite an exalted Jupiter). How do I distinguish the difference between using a good Jupiter to make good judgment calls and judging out of shame? I realize this sounds like a desperate attempt to not have my baby feel unhappy when in reality it’s what I should accept.. I have a lot of emotions around it.
There is only one kind of judgment, and that is judgment based on a lie. THere is no room for Judgment when there is truth. So if judgment comes up, what is lacking is an awareness of some truth.
The truth is, earth is for beings with psychosis. No one escapes it, no one is supposed to escape it. The idea that we are supposed to do an A1 job with our children is simply not true, it does not happen. Its not meant to happen. if it ever did, earth would dissolve as there would be no purpose for it. We are meant to give them an element of psychosis, just as our parents gave to us. No on, ever did anything amazing or good without the fuel of psychosis. The movie would stop or be so damn boring that God would turn the channel off if we did not have our psychosis.
When we have to judge a situation, such as, should I be with this person or not... at that point, its not really a judgment, it's a measure. We put the pros and cons on a scale and weigh them and see if it comes in in a way we can live with or not. That's not judgment, and to do that well, we have to know ourselves.
Our kids are born with that chart before we dropped them on their heads, yelled at them, neglected them. All those things we did, was us just hopping to the force of their charts and the jumps that god made us jump.
All we can do, is know ourselves more, be more truthful with ourselves so that we can be in a better place to respond healthily, and we will do that when the time aligns for all the people in our lives to be around a healthier person, we are all connected, none of us are operating out of the circle of our kids and intimate contacts. And if we do it and its not time for those people to be around a healthier person, somehow, they won't be around us.
There is only one kind of judgment, and that is judgment based on a lie. THere is no room for Judgment when there is truth. So if judgment comes up, what is lacking is an awareness of some truth.
The truth is, earth is for beings with psychosis. No one escapes it, no one is supposed to escape it. The idea that we are supposed to do an A1 job with our children is simply not true, it does not happen. Its not meant to happen. if it ever did, earth would dissolve as there would be no purpose for it. We are meant to give them an element of psychosis, just as our parents gave to us. No on, ever did anything amazing or good without the fuel of psychosis. The movie would stop or be so damn boring that God would turn the channel off if we did not have our psychosis.
When we have to judge a situation, such as, should I be with this person or not... at that point, its not really a judgment, it's a measure. We put the pros and cons on a scale and weigh them and see if it comes in in a way we can live with or not. That's not judgment, and to do that well, we have to know ourselves.
Our kids are born with that chart before we dropped them on their heads, yelled at them, neglected them. All those things we did, was us just hopping to the force of their charts and the jumps that god made us jump.
All we can do, is know ourselves more, be more truthful with ourselves so that we can be in a better place to respond healthily, and we will do that when the time aligns for all the people in our lives to be around a healthier person, we are all connected, none of us are operating out of the circle of our kids and intimate contacts. And if we do it and its not time for those people to be around a healthier person, somehow, they won't be around us.
@ernst my baby was born during my Jupiter Saturn dasa, just a couple months before my Jupiter mercury period. It’s been rough and interesting that I had a baby during this time. It’s very interesting to me how the mother’s brain changes. I started getting back memories from crawling, learning to walk, etc as my own baby did those things. And all the leftover remnants of trauma surfaced as well. We are biologically wired to expose our children to our psychosis. And I experienced a powerful force that took over during his birth that led to him being taken from me and being stuck with needles during his first hour out of the womb. I have regrets about that, as I see where I could have fought harder in hindsight, but I also see how strong the momentum of karma was for it to happen the way it did and during that dasa and directly on my Pluto line. I can also see how the small mistakes I have made can have a huge effect on a developing brain. Whereas some big mistakes go seemingly unnoticed. It all makes sense and I also still have desire for things to go differently at another time. I understand that my baby chose me as well as whatever result his upbringing will yield yet I desire to be a positive and inspiring person in his life. I don’t know how to not desire what I desire, even if it means I can be disappointed. It’s as if I secretly enjoy being humbled.
Thank you for clearing up judgment for me. I think I have excellent judgment, especially when I am honest with myself. Recently I have gotten pretty good at admitting my faults because they’re not as scary anymore. Because of this I can see more clearly who I am, how I’m likely to act in certain situations, etc. I turn 36 later this year so maybe it is my Saturn maturing that has made this easier.
In one of the aditya videos, I think it was the one about Amshu or it´s rishi, Ernst talks about the difference between guilt and remorse. Guilt is contraproductive and only drags us down. Having remorse is valid though, we can learn from it. As Ernst said though: no point being overly remorseful for not being a perfect parent, for reasons he just explained.
When my daughter was four we moved abroad, and in the new country my marriage dissolved. I guess I knew it would happen, but was naive and didn´t realize how bad it would get. Finally, when she was 12, I was presented the choice between going to jail for not paying a pension that wasn´t fair. I couldn´t afford it, and paying it would be accepting was used as a weapon in a scheme of blackmail. I had to other kids that was even more dependant on me, so I left the country, believing that I would be able to negotiate my return from abroad. It didn´t work out well, and I had to leave her behind. I felt guilt. One day a friend looked at me and asked me what I expected to gain feeling guilty. He made me aware of the egocentrism of guilt, and I started working towards acceptance of what have happened, the problems I had caused. What motivated was the realization that I would be a much worse father for my other children if I´d let guilt consume, but also that it in no way would help my daughter. Rather, would she come back one day, I´d be consumed by guilt rather than present in the moment, joyful and thankful towards life. Oftentimes we choose to either get consumed by guilt or we flee in an overcompensation state of cynism, as if what happened didn´t matter. The right choice is acceptance, of course. Realizing that we are not perfect. At the end the keys are humility and thankfulness.
Staffan