As someone who has experienced sudden loss, and has spent the past 8 years overcoming it, I agree with @quasar259 that it challenges our notion of reality, identity and expectations.
I am not given much to flights of fancy, and I have a clear definition between imagination and facts. And yet, the loss of this person shook me to the core and broke me into pieces. And this was just a platonic friendship that had lasted decades.
There is a belief that is tied to the other person or incident. Revisiting that belief and scrutinising it, recognising that the fault lies within ourselves in having that belief, the reasons behind it, and facing the reality behind it, that’s what the loss is about - it is the loss of innocence or naivety, and of the rose-coloured glasses.
Eventually, I think, it is about the loss or separation within the self. We neglect our needs, make compromises, are time poor, and slowly we drift away from where and what we are meant to be, hoping things will somehow work out. This separation within the self, since it is not acknowledged and/or is buried to be able to get on with life, is experienced as a loss/separation of someone or something in the past or the present. Time stands still because the past has not been processed and hence one cannot move into the future.
There is a positive belief associated with this person they have lost. If it was negative, we would be happy to have them leave our life. You can ask what positive aspects they see in that other person, and find a way to point out how they themselves have those positive aspects that have been neglected/buried due to whatever. Maybe get them to write those positive traits in bold letters and pin them up somewhere where they can see them everyday, but not in association with the other person. The focus should be on the words, not who they relate to. The aim is to internalise those traits and start acknowledging them unconsciously at first.
Get them to start thinking about the negative traits of the other person. That won’t be easy. But slowly, over time, things will start to balance out, and once the negative traits list grows bigger than the positive one, the war is won.
But, once the war is won, the person has also gotten much stronger that they won’t take the same treatment from others. So, that has to be kept in mind if they start having trouble from other family members about their change in behaviour. It is one of the reasons people revert back to their earlier behaviour, or don’t completely heal. Eventually, even that will be about their own internal state, and perhaps another type of healing journey.
Even after 8 years, I can’t say I am there yet. I have done much work on myself and I haven’t felt the loss as deeply for a couple of years now, but I also haven’t stepped into the future yet. I am still working on myself. Only one who has been through it will understand the bone-deep changes that go on underneath the surface, and the tug and pull between the past and the future. Depending on what else is happening in the chart, it might be a short or a long journey. Empathy and patience is what helps most. Re-building confidence in themselves will go a long way in facing reality, re-writing one’s identity, and re-defining expectations from oneself and others.
I don't know if loss in terms of 'death' should be conflated with other types of loss..
Losing by death is Saturnian, it is 7 of hearts... it is irreversible, nothing can change that, nothing can replace that hole in ones life. One has to live with it. People keep saying (especially on this forum) that Saturn is the easiest to heal.. but when the loss by death is sudden, it can be difficult to bear.
In the other type of loss (emotional/unrequited etc).. I think Venus is often implicated. And maybe moon. It is more in the head... not that that makes it less of a problem. However, the hole in this case is more in our psyche. The realization to be had is perhaps quite different.
I do think the manner of healing is quite different.
I think it´s largely dependent on the cultural context. In a culture like the modern western one, where death is not seen as a natural and necessary state but... Yeah, you get it, without me preaching. It´s hard to give good advice to people who chooses to live in a world of illusion. It doesn´t mean that one has to be a moksha Tarzan, but at least having a notion about what´s real and what´s not. At least a reference, a vague idea what´s worth striving forth.
Staffan