Hi Ernst and everyone,
This is something I have observed deeply in my practice and people in general nowadays. Many people become emotionally stuck in their past or someone in their present, especially over someone they love but never ended up with. It's as if their entire emotional identity becomes tied to that person. Over time it affects their happiness levels.
As an astrologer and as a friend, I often wonder what I can say to such individuals (and to myself) to help them overcome this loss. Also are these things truly a loss or just an emotional illusion.
The people who are so close to us one day, suddenly just disappear from our lives. It also affects our capacity to be with someone else fully in the future.
Would love to hear insights of everyone on this.
Thanks,
Divyansh
All loss and all gain is an illusion but I wouldn’t say that to just anyone. I have a relative who is a 7❤️ birth card. She greatly identifies with people who have died. Some people are here to experience loss. Who am I to say that they should be experiencing something else? While it is ideal for an advisor to have the wisdom to know what to say to every specific individual, it is more important (in the matter of creating change) for the individual who is suffering to have the capacity to recognize wisdom or grace. I think this is related to why Jupiter doesn’t talk much. I have learned my greatest lessons just from living life and finding the justice in the consequences for my foolishness.
I recall Ernst talking about how to see (perhaps with the outer planets?) If the person will make substantial changes in this life. Does anyone know where this is because I’d like to have another listen.
Usually this is a case of limerance and I don't believe there is anything you can say to the person, time has to pass, the person needs to simply process, grow and move on. Perhaps you can simply guide them to find podcasts or youtube channels dedicated to limerance, breakups and unreciprocated love, there is no shortage of help available out there but if they are not ready for it, nothing will help them.
In very rare cases it can be like a romantic movie - especially if it's a man who "lost" a woman he loves - then if they are actually meant to be together, he can work on himself internally and then through his actions, win her back. It sounds cheesy, but it does happen! 🙂
A close friend of mine went through something like this very intensely recently, and for a relatively long time. When I last met her she admitted that "it was never really about him, I had my own issues to work on and he was just what brought up the wounds. It's about me healing me". But again, I could have told her such things 100 times in the previous months, it wouldn't have made a difference. It's a journey and a part of the human experience.
Some of my thoughts. When my mom passed away 25 years ago our family was devastated because she was so healthy and within 5 months she was gone. For me personally, that was the first time I lost someone whom i deeply loved n the experience affected me profoundly. Even as i am writing this i am sad. It took me along time to heal. After she passed away i sort of became the “mom” for my family. I would do my best to continue to do what she did for many years as i made the promise to her that i would take care of the family. I remembered she left me a strand of pearls n it needed to be restrung, but every time i took it out i looked at it and i cried. So it took a good 15 years to restring that necklace.
i have realized a few things about emotional attachment through this experience. Healing takes time n everyone has a different timeline. But it is utmost important to feel sad, to cry in order to heal. Can’t tug it away. Saturn is a planet of losses n a good Saturn knows when you lose someone like a child there is nothing to do but to let time soothes the pain. But it is important to heal in a healthy n not destructive way like drinking or drugs. If i were the advisor i would counsel the individual to heal in a healthy way. I know of one person where his son died n a year later he committed suicide. I think as a counselor or friend you can help them heal n time is the best medicine for that
Furthermore, I also realized i am not my mom. I have my own personality n i am my own person. I do things differently n i think differently than my beloved mom on various issues. It is perfectly ok to be me yet still close to her. But it was a journey to differentiate that i can be me n still love my mom. Healthy Emotional attachment is when you live your life, be productive but in your heart there is a little space of fond memories for that person.
tuyet
Sudden loss seems to be unique in my experience. It challenges our notion of reality, identity and expectations. There are band-aids that can help to get through but I don't think they truly heal. Surrender to a larger reality, karma, letting go of expectations, rediscovery all seem to be big medicine