All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness.
Tennessee Williams
Hi everyone,
I recently had another case of someone being completely deflated by a reading they got from a Vedic astrologer and I really wanted to post this as a reminder.
Please remember that the person you are reading for is more often than not seeking out help during a difficult time in their life. Happy people who have everything don't generally look for astrologers. The people who want our help are often going to have difficult permutations in their charts.
So remember to be kind. They might already have tried so many other things in their life that don't work and be at their wit's end. They come to you because they are desperate and looking for help/you to lend an ear/and want to know when things will get better.
They are real human beings with feelings, not just a random constellation of planets. How you treat them and what you say to them matter.
I don't mean you have to
- lie to them
- give them false hope
- placate them
But (I can't believe I have to say this, but apparently it's not clear to anyone since these are things I've actually heard and seen readers saying to clients) don't:
- tell clients they are crazy/selfish/erratic/idiots (or have an idiot yoga)/overly sensitive/damaged/or other very obviously negative attributes
- tell clients their life is a huge mess and it's going to be really hard to get out of that one
- tell clients (especially those who would be obviously crushed by it) that they'll never have financial stability/love/kids/a career/whatever
- tell clients it's all their fault anyway and they chose this life and are chosing to torture themselves
Even if any of the above is true, it does nothing to empower the client and everything to crush whatever little flame might have been inside them, with which they could intelligently improve their life.
We all have weaknesses AND strengths. What I believe we should do is help clients figure out how to use their strengths to improve their lives, rather than give them laundry lists of what's wrong with them and why their lives will always suck.
There's a reason why the two planets associated with counseling are benefics and not Mars or Saturn. I believe readers have to be able to read the room and deliver the message they have in a way that the client will hear. If you don't, the message gets lost and it's as if you hadn't told them at all.
So please, please, remember to treat clients like human beings and not like some science experiment.
Something that I would like to add from my own personal experiences with this is that I don't think it's wise to seek a reading when you are at your absolute wit's end or just hoping for a specific outcome or prediction. I am someone who got a reading years ago from a Tropical Vedic Astrologer who told me some wonderful things but none of those things matched the goals and outcomes that I already envisioned as my reality. So as a result, I had a pretty bad nervous breakdown about it. It was almost like I knew that none of those predictions could possibly become my reality (and of course they didn't) but it was a very 9 of Diamonds type of realization. Where instead of attracting what I wanted to happen by getting that reading, I was met with the concrete reality of what wouldn't happen and having to digest that. I think if you're coming from a really dark place or really struggling with your current situation it's a better idea to try and become your own astrologer and maybe do your own research to come to your own conclusions about how to move forward.
That's a very good example... Whichever astrologers I was fated to meet for reading only disregarded my convictions until one day one of them told don't show your chart to anyone along with other things I couldn't digest.
So, I thought I won't have any luck with them and eventually I preferred to learn it by myself and be my own astrologer!
Good advice...
In my culture, they print a panchanga with general muhurtas for everything etc... I noticed they don't put chaitra Krishna Paksha after chaitra Shukla paksha... They put it before but not consider the same year... Many muhurtas they print I tested are doomed for failure... People have no choice but to follow them as they are like the only source of this info for them..
Sometimes bad karma comes in the form of astrology and astrologers too..
Karma does not spare anyone in this world... Sudama , one of the greatest devotees of Sri Krishna was not spared for not respecting material karmic laws and attracted lot of poverty until He was left with no option and forced by his wife to take help from Sri Krishna because of their kids starving for food...
Some clients mostly come for validation of what they want to do and even if you tell them no, they will do it anyways... It's all a very complicated dynamic going on based on what is meant to happen considering present yuga and person's individual karmas...
But I appreciate your advice for being a gentle force for the clients anyways... Things will happen as they will but astrology reading should give a hope and comfort to already tortured clients
That is why when it comes to readings in general, one's intuition and ability to relate to the other person's reality that is beyond the horoscope is so vital.
The best counseling astrologer I've come across told me, "You have to tune into the person. The chart is the chart, but the person is the person; you have to relate the chart to the person, not the person to the chart."
@scott-m-19 This is why I meditate on every chart before I consider my reading finalized. This is spiritual work, yes it included analytical work but the overall nature of it is spiritual and should be approached as such.
And that's also why perhaps in person/video/voice call readings are so important in my opinion. Because it gives you more to relate to than "just" the chart.
This is a complex thing. So often astrologers allow their own issues to come out during a reading and even project their own issues onto the client - essentially venting on themselves with the client as their proxy. It's critical that the person who is the astrologer is not present during the reading, and that only the astrologer remains. The only way this can be done is when the love of astrology or serving another is greater than the need of one's personality. People who do astrology because they want fame as an astrologer, they are trying to be someone important or great, or they want the money to validate their worth, its these ones that I see abusing their clients. They are just not getting out of the way of themselves to be a real astrologer, everything always ends up being about themselves even when they are getting paid for it to be all about the client.
If a person can do this, t hey will say the right thing. There are no rules to what the right thing is. Sometimes saying something shocking or even rude is the right thing. Its about what is going to SHIFT the person. I remember one time I had a reading scheduled with a new client. the day before i learned a new yoga that indicates poverty. Right before the reading i decided to look for this yoga and it was there. Other than that, it was loaded with wealth yogas.
when she came I said, you have been to other astrologers before?
she said, yes.
I said, and they all told you you were wealthy?
she said yes.
and i said, and when you said you are not wealthy, they said, don't worry, one day you will be very wealthy.
and she said, yes.
and i said, well, I am here to tell you that you will never be wealthy!
that seems quite rude or extreme to say. However, she jumped up and said, THANK YOU for saying that. All these other astrologers said i would be and already was and i was feeling like I was doing something wrong in my life because i am not wealthy, and I dont even care about money anyway!
So this was the most important thing she needed from the reading.
I think I understand what you mean and that there ultimately are no hard and fast rules, as with everything in life.
I think when we relate to a person directly we also know if it's the right moment to say something to a client or not. We have this outside of readings, too. You might have something you want to tell a person and at the time it might not seem right, but then months down the line it's just the right thing. There is a time and a place to tell someone their relationship is over etc. where it's what they need to hear.
You said something a year ago to me that really stuck with me and it took for a while to sink in. It's about how you shouldn't just make the reading about your ability to predict and how even when you see a tough thing indicated that doesn't mean you need to share it with the client. Since, I've tried to "go with the flow". There have been times when people asked whether there relationship was over for example and I saw a clear no and since they truly seemed like they needed closure I told them. And then others with the same situation, where I also saw a clear no and I didn't because I knew they wouldn't hear it.
I suppose that's what I'm getting at. There are some in this community that take great pride in their skill (as they should because they are amazing predictors), but it comes at the detriment of their empathy and their ability to treat every client differently and give them what the situation calls for. For example, I have a siderealist friend who is amazing at predictions and has made a great living with astrology, but many people are put off by his brusque way of communicating. He prides himself on dishing out tough love. He's usually right, but his message often gets lost because clients hear the criticism rather than the great advice he has. I think this is exacerbated by the fact that he's from East Asia and people from the West generally tend to favor a more diplomatic approach. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that if you are rude/shocking every single time, surely you are not in the flow and dealing with every client individually. Like Jaimini says, Mars has to come with Venus. You can be logical, offer great solutions, but it's not going to be sustainable if there is not empathy or kindness involved in my opinion.
And I think it's just plain lazy to say "well, the Gods told me to be rude, so I don't care how people feel and I have a free pass to say and do whatever I want" as a reader, which I know you don't do, but sure seems like some in the community operate.