Also the Mars card is important here, I forgot to mention that. Mars has a lot to do with friendships, especially close friends. The Mars card of 8C is 10H - happy relationships, a happy world; imagine the most joyful party you can imagine; that´s 10H. But the position, the third card, is a "fly away"-position, meaning that it looses all purpose the moment that you get it. It´s like a test in school: you put all your effort into it, but the moment you get you grade, you throw it away and never more even think about it. So for 8C, when the party is at it´s highest, a sudden urge for withdrawal presents itself. I imagine it´s like freezing a movie scene, and being the only person that can still move, like in the circus scene in "The Big Fish"; 8 of Clubs goes around saying goodbye to everyone. When the music turns on again and the party continues, he´s gone.
So that, I belive, is a part of what you experience. 8 of Clubs is meant to be a colibri, flying from one exciting blossoming tree to another. There is a deep solitude in that. You need your 4S´s Moon card to be healthy for that, and if it´s not, you need to heal it.
Also your Mars card is blocked by Rahu and the Sun, two separating factors. So the "letting go" is harder for you than it should be. Basically: What´s ideally is easy and natural for a 8C - to move like a fish in the social water, chatting a little here, cooperating a little there - is harder for you and causes emotional pain, because of your blocked Moon card ("security in yourself") and your blocked Mars card (clinging, not wanting to let go).
There are remedies. But I´d like to get to know you a little better for that. Let´s keep chatting via mail; I just thought I should write this on the forum in case more people are interested in how the 8C works.
Staffan
Welcome
When I read „My greatest struggle have been to find circles or jobs where I fit in. I have never felt that I am in the right place at work. Always some of the happiest days of my life when I finally left the old behind (especially jobs).” I didn’t have to create your chart to know to that you have an open G center and single definition in the language of Human Design system. Not everything can be read through cards or jyotish. Well, maybe everything, but some things are easier to spot and interpret and begin necessary change with Human Design. I strongly advise you to seek that knowledge. Starting with everything about open G center.
I think all 8th (wherever they are in cards spread, clubs, hearts) have to change first themself for brighter future. There are no others, just mirrors of you. I have 8 of hearts as my Moon card. Someone could say that it’s a great card. Well, it’s becoming great after my Rahu maturation and my hard work in progress (8 is Rahu).
@omanis Thank you. It's getting more and more clear. I realize now that when I created this post I didn't really understand. Now it's getting more clear. Bit by bit. It's been a long suffering. But short in the long run. I'm getting a touch of feeling of who my future will manifest.