Hi,
It was mentioned that when a woman does not feel good emotionally, she is not supposed to do anything. She should just wait it out. Is this for more tangible achievements like getting a degree? Does eating a good piece of cake, jogging, movies or reading a good book count to feel better count as doing nothing?
@stefanie3004 I haven´t listened to that class for a while, but to my understanding she´s recommended to take care of herself. Not searching for fulfillment in her masculine side, like self realization in the external work. So feelgood things, yes.
Which of course doesn´t mean that she should not do the masculine things too - but as you say, not as a way to overcome depression or not feeling good about herself. Maybe stop doing that for a while and take it up later.
Mattias
It was mentioned that when a woman does not feel good emotionally, she is not supposed to do anything. She should just wait it out.
Wouldn't this apply more to relationships itself? I.e. it's better for a woman to not seek a relationship or take any action towards being in a relationship when not in a good emotional place- because it'll probably not be an appropriate one...
Not sure why it should apply to degrees etc, because people don't really expect some deep emotional fulfillment from a degree, right?
@leela Yes, I think they do and for men it works, they do get fulfillment out of worldly success.
Mattias
Fulfillment, yes. Even women enjoy worldly success derived from their actions.
I specifically said EMOTIONAL fulfillment.
If men get both emotional fulfillment and material fulfillment/achievement from work and worldly success, what do they even seek relationships for? Sex, convenience and a way to procure children and a legacy?!
@leela I got that. Emotional fulfillment. When a typical man, especially in young age, has a low self esteem it helps him to get over it being useful in the outer world. Taking a bath is not going to help him at all.
Have you listened to what Ernst has to say about the difference about the masculine/the feminine? (Not the same thing as men/women of course, since we are all different.)
One main thing men, especially in productive age, search in relationships with women is affirmation of their masculine qualities. Such as planning and foresight, being skilfull, intelligence and perseverence. That makes a man, generally speaking, feeling good about himself.
And no, according to Ernst as I´ve understood him (and he refers to Pat Allen): A woman in a depressed state, or with lack of self esteem, is not going to feel better doing things in the world. She will feel as if she has abandoned herself. She must feel good about herself first and then act in the outer world. For a man it´s the other way round.
Again: It depends on several factors, among them age. For a mature woman and a mature man it seems to be the other way round, at least to some degree.
Mattias
One main thing men, especially in productive age, search in relationships with women is affirmation of their masculine qualities.
And what do women get in return for all this pandering? A bit of love in return for ego-massage and providing care-taking services, huh? Sounds fair, Lol.
Can't believe majority of humans still want to play these stupid little games.
A woman in a depressed state, or with lack of self esteem, is not going to feel better doing things in the world. She will feel as if she has abandoned herself.
Most women do feel better doing things in the world. Earning and contributing to the world makes them feel good too. I know men really want to convince women otherwise, but it simply doesn't seem to be true from my experience and observation of many, many women. What they do regret is action in the realm of relationships, like being with a shitty guy because of their depressed state lacking self-esteem. They don't feel better in such a scenario. Moreover, NOT contributing to the world does not help with feeling better either.
Also, I guess, if someones depressed state is easily fixed by taking a bath, it wasn't such a deep issue to begin with- just a momentary fluctuation that one can ride out. There is no need to hold off on doing a degree or acting in the external world to...... take a bath.
Just to be clear- I'm conversing, not asking for advice.
@ernst
But the doing 'out there' is just an extension of one's own self, one's own inspiration, isn't it?
Why is there a need to create a split with that, as if they are completely different things?