I´m praying with tobacco - Maya tradition - and have come to realize (the grandfather tobacco tells you) how I relate to life out of desperation. No real faith in abundance. Now I´m trying to see how that is depicted in my chart.
The thing is that I have good Moon. No afflictions and fully delighted by Venus. It´s in the 4th house - ideal placement. It´s Vargottam.
So what is it that make my relation to mother/life on earth so bad?
Some ideas:
- Virgo Moon. An inmature mother.
- In Varsaphala my first year (Moon´s maturation year) shows -7 for Dwa Dasha Vargiya for the Moon. Mars is great though, +10.
- Pluto is closely conjunct to the Moon.
- Bad 11th house. Saturn DB and conjunct Rahu. We normally don´t relate the 11th house to the mother, right? But it´s the 8th from my Moon and also from the 4th, does that give us a clue?
Mattias
- Virgo Moon. An inmature mother.
Hi Mattias,
Is it you, or your mother, who has the Virgo moon?
@mitryendra80 Right... It´s my Moon.
Also my MK is Mars, 5th house, conjunct Jupiter and Ketu in Libra, innimical.
Mattias
@meyes I have Uranus closely conjunct my moon, and have a unique, eccentric, but creative, relationship with my mother. So I think your Pluto conjunction with Moon may be a major influence.
@mitryendra80 Definitely an important influence, I agree. And it´s less than 3 degrees away, so a western astrologer would definitely pity me for that... My mother is the owner of a rather painful whip. Last time she told me please not to show up on her funeral... If that´s not Pluto, what is?
Thank you!
Mattias
Try analyzing the Moon in the D12 and the same plus the 4th cusp and 4th lord in the D40.
My Moon is pretty good but he occupies the 6th, waxing and in Leo. The relationship with my mother was horrid. She has NPD and my father was her enabler. Her behavior really skewed my view of women in general until my late 20s. I thought they were all vapid, solipsistic and conformist.
The amount of suffering I experienced from her is not really explained just by the 6th house moon, imo. It shows up in the D12 and D40. So analyze those as well.
@lopperwinkie Thank you Laura! My chart isn´t perfectly rectified yet, still lacks some seconds. But from what I know now...
Moon/Sun conjunction in Leo (4th house) in the D12; what you say about your mother resonates completely with my experience; my father acts as an enabler for sure. They work very tightly together.
D-40: Moon is with Rahu and Ketu, 6th house, conjunct the 4th and 10th cusp. That window is open for around 90 seconds on each side of my estimated birth time, so it´s fairly reliable. Rahu and Ketu... Toxic mother and ancestral burdens, right? Afflictions on the 4th and 10th I guess. I guess we found it?
Again: Thank you! You are one of my favorite astrologers Laura, did you know that? 🙂
Mattias
No, I didn't but thanks Mattias!
I find when planets are in bad dignity in the D40 and aspected by Rahu/Saturn, they cause a lot of tragedy/pain.
I'm still doing research into seeing NPD and other Cluster Bs in the chart. My mother's chart has Saturn/Rahu in the 4th from a Scorpio Moon. She did not like her mother (my maternal Grandmother) at all. I have been trying to heal this generational wound in my family. So far, been pretty successful but having a lot of distance has helped the most.
@lopperwinkie I live in Mexico, my mother in Sweden, ´nough said. In private I can tell you a dream I had about her last time I came back from visiting them three yours ago. Not nice, that I can say openly.
The Moon is not in bad dignity in those chart, though. But Rahu still doing it´s job I suppose. And Ketu indicates ancestral things going on, right?
Deep wounds, yes. Much pain, yes. My most painful experience is maybe the fact that I´ve been separated from a very beloved daughter for 9 years now. Out of codependence (another family issue) and as a way of getting away from my family I married a chilean woman. The relation ended in catastrophe and I ended up fighting for custody and divorce in Chile. A hopeless fight, what justice can you expect in a country who´s shield has the words "By justice or by force" written on it? During 5 years of fighting in family court I was not once allowed to speak, I had very few witnesses and the proofs I brought from Sweden weren´t even considered, though the court had accepted them as proofs. ´nough said; at the end I refused to pay anything at all as a desperate way to force my ex into negotiation. It worked for a couple of years but finally she played the juridical card and my choice was between jail and leaving the country. Since I had two other kids to take care of it was a no brainer. So: Pain. For sure, that I can tell you about. My daughter wrote to me for the first time in all these years in June this year, a warm and loving letter, but since then her Ketu/Moon hasn´t allowed her to utter any more words.
If you want to use my chart for a case study you are welcome.
Mattias
Wait till you see my father´s chart Laura... Scorpio ascendent with 5 planets in his 8th...
I´m not going to email you my dream about my parents, don´t worry. But it wasn´t nice.
Mattias
@meyes hi Mattias,
I cannot really add a useful astrological comment on your question, I just would like to let you know that I am very sorry to hear about these pains, and I am sending you virtual hugs (if you dont mind).
@agnesbarna I do mind, but positively. 🙂 I´ve learned only today that I must learn to be more receptive, so you give me an opportunity to train.
Yeah, being separated from my daugther is still very painful and is probably going to be so until she hopefully comes back one day. And I have reasons to believe that she is suffering too, which of course is worse since she´s completely innocent in this story. (I´m not, I used her mother as a vechicle to get away from my own complexes and issues.)
My daughter is very artistic. I attach a linocut that she made when she was only 14 years old, I think it´s her natal Sweden (she was four when I uprooted her) that is seen in the background. My daughter who looked up at the Moon when she was two years old and told us it was her mother... (Moon happens to be her indicator for father and my AK is the Moon so I always pray to the Moon hoping that it will bring a message to her.)
Best regards, thank you Agnes
Mattias
Testing if my comment is saved and uploaded (my phone says this site is not safe, and it does not allow me to post anything...)
Why is.my proper comment not uploaded here...?!?! it have written my message to Mattias 3x, and all lost, getting error messages... 🙁 giving up for today...
@ernst Oh, happy to! Since you are open about you own chart, and so is for example Vic Dicara, how am I not supposed to follow your example? I was born in Växjö (I think it´s Vaxjo), Sweden, on December 13 1968 at, seemingly, 15.42.50. My chart isn´t perfectly rectified but that seems to be very close to the correct birth time. My Lagna is right on a cusp, but there seems to be no doubt about me being a Gemini lagna.
Mattias
@ernst That is true, Mercury is agitated in my 7th.
Synchronicity... I just got an omen about that in a prayer with tobacco, a toxic caterpillar slightly burned my left thigh. Sagittarius... A reminder to be less bossy as an astrologer/reader (agitated Mercury), more receptive, right?
Thank you!
Mattias
I also think my childhood drama is depicted in my Cards of Truth spread.
My MK Mars falls in the Venus card, 12th cusp present. The card is Jack of Hearts, the child, a card that has the capacity of giving an innocent character. A face card, so it´s prominent. My mother has many times told me that she was very much in love with me, that she felt I was like a Jesus child. I was her first boy child (the second child of three, the only boy) and indeed, the 5 of Clubs (my Birth Child) tends to give a christlike appearance (depending from what angle you look I guess, haha! and remember that christ was a rebel too, not loved by everyone...); I read a spread for a friend who´s also a 5 of Clubs and who has often been told that he´s christlike; he struggles with a Mars/Rahu/Moon conjunction in the 12th house: a hard time to live up to his mother´s (and own) expectations of him to be christlike. (The 5C has also the both red Kings on prominent positions; so indeed: both lamb and King.)
My PiK on the other hand falls in 7 of Hearts, showing crisis in relationships, with Rahu and the 6th cusp, the enemies. So my father became my enemy. A person with a very tough chart, Scorpion ascendent and 5 planets in his 8th house, with very little notion of being a father. He couldn´t stand, I believe, seeing my mother being in love with a boy child, a rival. So - that´s my advanced guess - for to save her relationship she had to push me away and then, I guess, punished me for having done so.
That´s how I read it.
Mattias