Painting, someone's attempted suicide and my Sade Sati
There is a rather large painting next to the bed in which I sleep. The painting is of a woman with her fingers in her mouth, pulling her cheeks apart into a smile. I took no notice of this painting the past five months. However, the past few nights, I have woken up in the middle of the night and been horrified by the painting; the mouth seemed to move in the darkness. I found out yesterday through my girlfriend that the subject of the painting had a partner who died by suicide (now, three days ago) and she had attempted suicide and was hospitalized.
The only astrological indication for me here is that Saturn was directly over my Moon on the 14th. I am in my Sade Sati.
I typically don't think about omens, but this really disturbed me.
Being obsessive myself, I have lately reigned in my tendency to analyze so many things as omens. Especially since I am living somewhere now where there are crows constantly around the house! I always see a certain number of them outside the window a few times a day. And they are always calling out in certain odd and even numbers at different times throughout the day, often while I am pondering things or making decisions. It can be exhausting if I pay too much attention to it.
But I still pay attention to some of those conspicuous omens that happen around both the new and full moons.
One time, on a full moon day, I came out of a building where I was talking with someone about getting up the courage to finally venture out into an area of life that I had always been "locked away from". As I walked through the large parking lot toward my car, I was feeling hopeful and thinking possibilities could still be there if I venture out, when I heard a loud ominous call of a crow calling from somewhere out in the parking lot. It called out loudly 8 times in a row. As I continued to walk, it then called out 7 times. After that, it finally called out 6 times just as I reached my car. And I found that the crow was sitting on a very low tree branch right above the top of my parked car! It was counting backwards and Saturn, the planet of the crow, was about to retrograde back over my ascendant cusp and cause more delays and constrictions. My natal Saturn is also involved in a misery yoga in the relevant house of 2 relevant vargas of that particular area of life.
I have also had powerful and very "loud" conspicuous omens on new and full moons involving a hawk, archaic divination cards, and others.
On the most recent new moon, my roommate told me they suddenly found 3 four-leaf clovers right in front of our back patio in one brief moment. I had been thinking about the challenges of being a 3 of spades that day. Clovers, however, are clubs, not spades, and only have 3 parts, not 4 leaves. I don't know what this omen meant.
Those new and full moon omens often carry themes of the nakshatras in which they occur. Your omen involved the theme of death and happened around the time of the recent new moon. Siderealy, the new moon was in Purva Bhadrapada, associated with death and a scorched funeral cot, the fire of purification and self-sacrifice or asceticism that burns the ego. Tropically, starting with Ashwini at the equinox, it would have taken place in Revati, ruled by Pushan, the psychopomp who guides and protects the innocent soul on its way through the other side. In a tropical scheme starting with Krittika at the equinox, it would have taken place in Bharani, ruled by Yama, the god of death and the underworld, who also governs over Saturn, which was directly on your natal moon at the time. I wouldn't know the personal meaning of the omen though. However it is a good way to subjectively study nakshatras.
According to the calculations of Galactic Center Middle of Mula ayanamsa with equatorial coordinates, which is what Ernst has used and recommended for over a decade, the recent new moon would have been in Uttara Bhadrapada instead of Purva Bhadrapada. Uttara. B. is the other nakshatra in the "funeral cot" pair, but has less associations with death than Purva Bh. and is supposed to be less difficult.
I never completely warmed up to that ayanamsa as much as I have the Ardra Galactic Plane ayanamsa and Spica-based ones. With respect to Vimshottari dasha, some synchronicity has showed up with it, but not as much as with the Spica and galactic plane ayanamsas.
The one other thing I've been sensitive to lately has to do with what seem to be penetrating stares or auras of people around me. Feels very invasive, even though outwardly they really aren't obviously doing anything.
The invasive-feeling, penetrating stares and auras could be provoked or amplified by Mars becoming closely conjoined with Rahu at the moment.
Mars, of course, is our inner electrical power and assertive defense. It is a critical planet and governs vision. It also rules the solar plexus region where the sun is exalted. Rahu is psychic sensitivity, fears, and our subconscious and energetic vulnerabilities. Ra + Ma are close together and transiting a sensitive Mercury sign currently, which is starving Mars. And Gemini rules busy places where people interact.
In my own chart Rahu is within 2 degrees of Mars and simply going to the store can be overwhelming for me because I feel mowed down by peoples gazes and awareness of me to the point that I become uncoordinated and out of sync. I seem to become clumsily in everyone's way despite overcompensating to stay out of it. I try to schedule things at more odd hours. I have this constant need to avoid casual confrontation.
So Rahu joining Mars may now be bringing up issues of depleted energetic and psychic immunity. Being disturbed or drained by more sinister "trickster" spirits, as may have happened when you woke up to that painting the last few nights, could be a symptom off this. If you are into Ayurveda, your ojas and agni may be low and need strengthening.
Also Saturn, being an airy (Vata) planet associated with death and vulnerability, transiting right on the natal moon degree is of course the most intense part of Sade Sati. I can be a time when we feel melancholy, unsupported, and not connected with others on a warm or nourishing level. And the day(s) around the new moon is when the anscestors and souls of those who have passed on are feeding and need to be nourished and propitiated. Probably more so if it is occurring in a death or otherworld related nakshatra.
So I wouldn't take your recent omens and experiences with other people too personally, it is mainly a consequence of passing astrological weather. You may just need to take more psychic "vitamins" and strengthen and stabilize the mind and energy field more for a while.