Hi everyone,
Nonviolent communication(NVC) developed by Marshall Rosenberg is a way communicating that I think can be useful in healing some of the Lajjitaadi Avasthas.
For eg: It can help Sun agitating Mercury or combust Mercury in asking questions and making requests in a coherent way. It can help Sa-Mo conjunction. shamed/starved Moon folks to get in touch with their feelings and their real needs and help develop self-empathy. It can help Moon starving Venus folks to understand their needs, needs of their partner and needs of the relationship.
Also, other than the conditioning, trauma and defense mechanisms, I think a lot of our PAC issues might be due to how the communication between our Parent, adult and child mind is. Learning and practicing NVC I think has definitely helped me better my interpersonal communication and also my self talk.
If any of you has come across NVC before, would like to hear your thoughts and experience about it. And if you think there are other Lajjitaadi avasthas it can help with.
For a short intro of NVC, here is a small explainer video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INdKgBPEI-8
If anyone is exploring this further, I would recommend the book 'Living Non Violent Communication'.
To my (limited) experience the hardest part when it comes to NVC is to agree on using it, and respecting the rules. Meaning: There must be a true interest from both parts on actually resolving the problems, and a realization that cheating with the NVC rules, it´s not gonna work.
Since it´s not a standard way of talking, the risk is that one of the parts of the conflict may see it with suspicion, like a way of manipulate or presenting oneself as above, holy.
My point being: It´s not always so easy to actually get there, being able to use NVC. It kind of requires decent adult planets from the beginning, I guess.
Staffan
@staffan I have studied NVC by myself, and I have incorporated it into my communication(still WIP). Other parties are not aware about this NVC thing, they might just be aware that something in my communication has changed. I also don't use it as structurally as it's taught, but adapted its main principles into my style of communication. I don't know your specific context, but using my adapted NVC approach for me is like me having done (communicating) my best, the other party can still chose to respond in a non NVC way.
