ADHD treatment

Dear Mattias, Veronia, Ernst and Manisha, 

Thank you for taking time out to reply and expressing interest.

Here are his birth details:  

Date of birth: 11/19/2006 (Nov 19, 2006). Time of birth 6:03 PM. Place of birth Durham, North Carolina. Name: Swaroop Panda

Some details about him (these are based on my assessment, being his dad there could be some biases here).

Intelligence: From early ages he demonstrated high level of intelligence. I always considered myself with good level of intelligence (of course when I see people in this forum, my ego gets trashed to ashes), but I always felt he had way more intelligence than me (when I was of his age). He learned to play chess when he was in kindergarten or 1st grade by just by playing with some software in the computer and by 2nd grade he was able to occasionally beat his coach at the school. But by 5th grade he had lost interest in chess.   

Analytical abilities: He has demonstrated very strong analytical abilities. He has generally been very good with numbers and ability to see patterns. But he has been making a lot of careless mistakes.  

Reading: He doesn't show much interest in reading. He is a compulsive reader. 

Learning from visual medium: He learns very fast by seeing and hearing. I remember taking a walk with him on a summer evening when he was less than 4 years old. He saw some fireflies told me, "Dad look fireflies. They are bioluminescent." I had not even heard the word till then. 

Writing: He hates to write. His handwriting is awful.     

Emotional quotient: He has extremely high emotional quotient. In spite of having a very disturbed childhood (growing up in a disjointed and disoriented family), he has shown extremely high level of maturity to maintain composure during disturbing situations. 

Mood: He is generally cheerful all the time.

Sociable: He is extremely sociable. He loves being with friends and friends also love being with him. He never tries to hurt his friends and goes out of his way to keep them happy. I consider this good and bad both. Bad because, he could make friends with kids taking drugs and could get into their habits. In fact he often got into trouble at school because of bad company.

Restlessness: He has been a super active (I am purposefully avoiding the use of the word hyperactive) kid right from his childhood. As a child I never saw him eating his meals on dinning table. He would be running around all the time. 

Food: I think the problem comes up here. Much to my dislike, he has been fed junk food (which I call poison) all the time. Pizza, burger, fries, sodas, ice cremes, candies have been his favorites. However about two year back, on my request he turned vegetarian. I don't know what is motivation, but he gave up sodas few months back. That's why I feel he has a strong mind. To give up your cravings at such young age is not very easy. 

Sports: He is insanely passionate about sports, even though he doesn't have the physical attributes (though I must admit that he he has the skills. He picks up new sports very fast). His loves to play, watch, discuss all kind of sports all the time.   

Other activities: He is extremely gifted in music. He has a very good sense of music. My wife is a Hindustan classical music teacher. Just by listening to her teach other kids (though he never goes for the class) while he would be playing some games, he would point of mistakes the kids (even my wife) make while singing. But unfortunately he doesn't develop any interest in pursuing this hobby. 

Organizational skills: He is extremely disorganized and forgetful. He would lose things and will be looking for things all the time. But he was not like this as a small kid. As a small kid he would remember all the things. 

Habits: He used to be a active kid. He would always get up early in the morning. But in the past couple of years he has become lazy and gets up late. 

My course of action: Initially I used to be frustrated with all this. But I have realized that I need to handle him with a lot of care because I truly feel I have a diamond in hand, that I need to polish very carefully. I have been researching a lot about treatment for ADHD. I see that clinical practice is to treat with dosages of Ritalin. But I also read that it has side effects - can cause cancer. So I want to avoid jumping into that route. That's why I have been trying to look at other alternative treatments. I have been trying to help him grow spiritually. I put him in Maharishi school so that he will be forced to meditate (hoping that it will help him). But it meant that I see him only during the weekends (Maharishi school is 2 hours from my place of work). So I have decided that I will move him out of that school so that he spends more time with me. Also in that school they were not able to coach meditation well enough. 

I will be consulting a functional medicine doctor soon - though I am not sure if this will help. Any one of you have any thoughts on this?

I have been trying to help him grow spiritually. I have been an aspiring Viashnava for some time now. I chant 16 rounds of Mahamantra and read a few pages of Bhagavatam everyday and watch some spiritual videos. He chants few rounds some day (if he remembers). When he stays with me I can remind him everyday to chant Mahamantra and read Bhagavatam to him and show him talks of spiritual leaders.

Even though I have no qualification to recommend astrological remedies, I have picked up a few general remedies by reading different posts in this forum and other forums. As you will see in his chart, he started Shani Dasha last year. I had read in post from astrologer Sanjay Rath that during Shani Dasha chant 5 rounds of "Ohm Namoh Shivaya". I have asked him to do this. He does this when he remembers. I can remind him to do this everyday when stays with me. I have also read that chanting 1000 names of Vishnu is a very good remedy for Shani dasha. Since he is a small kid and has no education in Sanskrit, it is difficult for him to read it himself. That's why I recorded it so that he can hear it everyday. When he stays with me, I can read it to him everyday. 

One astrologer looked at his chart and told me that he will be a healer. I hoping that he develops interest in astrology and becomes a healer. When he stays with me, I will show him Ernst's astrology videos as I watch them. Hopefully he will pick up interest some day. 

I didn't expect this post to be that long. Sorry to have taken so much of your time. Since you all showed so much interest in helping, I felt I should do my bit to get help. 

Regards,

Tapas     

Thank you for your reply Manisha. It is reassuring to hear from you that he will keep moving from one inspiration to the other. I have no objection to that. In fact I encourage him to pursue as many hobbies as possible. When the right time comes he will hear his heart's calling. I also don't put any pressure in him to achieve anything. All that I ask him is try to grow spiritually because I have realized from my experience that at the end of the day that is what is going to give you lasting peace. I also encourage him engage in activities that will enhance lives of people because selfless actions are so fulfilling. What worries me is that because of ADHD he will not be able to function at his full potential. 

I am taking steps to take pressure of him. So I have decided to homeschool him from next year, so that he is not burdened with the pressures of school system. I will not be taking care of his home schooling so as to keep parental pressure away. I have asked a lady educator to take care of it. We have decided to let me pursue his passion. Hopefully his concentration and focus will improve as he engages in things that he passionate about. I am not sure if I should do this, but I am asking him to slow down, hoping that if he slows down, his thoughts will reach from point A to point B rather than reaching point C. From my research I have learnt that in simple terms this is exactly what ADHD is.  

My idea of going to a functional medicine route is that they will be able to identify toxins and unwanted minerals in the blood and help detox the body. They will also suggest food habits that will take him out of the junk food that he is used. They will suggest life style changes that will require him to be disciplined. In teen ages, when parents tell something, they become enemies. But when the same words are spoken by someone from outside the family, they give more importance to it. This is the same mentality why consulting business is so thriving around the world.   

Having taken a few baby steps in the path of spirituality and having heard Ernst's philosophy of God being omnipresent, I realize that God is present even in bad things that might be happening to you. It is just that we fail to understand his message. I see this an a message or challenge from God for me to be more compassionate, more understanding, more forgiving and more caring.

I just feel sorry for him that he has to go through this, because the society will not understand the struggles he is going through. I think this way, not because he is my son, but because he is a genuinely nice person. I look at him and say "how can such a young person be so good". He has helped me become a better human being. I feel ashamed when I think how bad a person I was. Don't get me wrong. I didn't have all those vices that are visible to people outside. But still deep within me I had all the negative human feelings (envy, jealousy, ego/pride). He has helped me shade some of it. Still trying. This is another opportunity for me improve as a person.

Thank you again.

Regards,

Tapas    

Very well said Manisha. I am just trying to fulfill my responsibility as a father in making sure that I provide the emotional and physical support that the child needs. But at the end as you said it is his journey.