Have you tried asking yourself why you feel the compulsion for such excessive cleaning? I am wondering if something happened earlier this year, especially from January to March, to cause a conflict within you.
Your Rahu maturation is on the horizon. Your Ketu is with the 6th cusp and in Aquarius. If you remember anything from the Rahu-Ketu course, now is the time to start applying it. Are you holding on to the belief of a particular type of 6th house notion? By holding on to that belief tightly, it is triggering that excessive behaviour. Can you allow yourself a bit of leeway with regards to that 6th house notion? Is peer pressure causing you more harm?
Just a few thoughts to ponder upon while waiting for the right care to come your way.
For those who replied and those who maybe will reply, I thank you for your understanding and for your reply and suggestions. I appreciate. I am realizing that I dont have the mental strenght to reply in detail or reply at all. Its too much for me. Sorry. All my energy goes in trying to dont get involved in endless cleaning, panik attacks or strong anxiety and trying to manage the day somehow. I read what you wrote and I think about it. Thanks again.
Yes, we understand.
Please go easy on yourself! Breath...!
Babysteps.
Take your time, know that you are going through a transforming and in the long run necessary crisis. You are going to get through it, don´t worry.
Mattias
Hello Narottama, I think you are approaching it right. You are accepting it as best you can which reduces stress which always hurts, and your working with homeopathy. Homeopathy can do a lot for these types of things as its focus on these types of symptoms. I find that homeopathy works fastest if we have some inner revelations. I would suggest contemplating your Sun/Saturn conjunction in the lagna. Sun is pure and clean, saturn is dirty. They are opposites so they don't like to be together. Saturn makes sun feel dirty because he is right by sun. Sun wants Saturn to be clean! But saturn is not supposed to be clean, its an endless battle. And its won by working on your identification. Both Sun and Saturn are planets we identify with. Our consciousness uses saturn to understand, I am mortal. Our consciousness uses sun to understand, "God is me." These are very different points of view. What are we? We are both at different times on different levels of our dimensions, but when sun and saturn are together they are stressed cause they want to know BOTH at the same time. Just like there are times to be dirty, saturn, and times to be clean, sun, but they can't do it at the same time. So, god is us, we are mortal. Two opposites it appears, and that will create an inner conflict and its inner conflicts that lead to compulsions. So what's the SAME. How are saturn and the sun the same? I am mortal, God is Me, what are both of those saying? They are both saying, I don't exist. Think about the freedom that comes from grasping that. I don't exist, but i am happening because god exists. I am not mortal, because I don't exist. Its a zen thing. Its about surrender of the I which is what sun saturn conjunctions are all about.
Then the opposites of dirty and pure. How are these two related? They are opposites, one exists only because of the other. There is a purity to a child playing in a mudhole. Try to find that feeling or being a child of god, playing in this mudhole. Its meant to be a pure experience, we just have to work through all the conditioning that makes us think that there is something wrong with playing in the mud. So examine all parts of yourself, what parts do you think there is something wrong with or what parts are doing things you think are wrong. Try to heal the conflict of those parts with the parts of you that work in a way that you may think are pure. Try to find the purity of the child playing in the mudhole in the things that feel uncomfortable or dirty to you, in the things you are trying to wash off. It will take some contemplation and it will be a very unique experience of healing, i am just trying to give some words to start you down that road.
@ernst Thank you for your answer and helpful words. I appreciate. The Sun Saturn hint and examples resonates with me. Thats interesting and I am thinking a lot about that and I think and feel there is a valuabal lesson in that.
I have really discovered that these tough avasthas have a VERY DEEP internal conflict we have to make peace with. This eclipse landed right between my saturn mars conjunction and over the last few months I became more and more aware of the internal conflict indicated by that conjunction that was the sore spot in all areas of my life and conflict causing me all my health challenges in my life. I am sure you will make so much progress as you contemplate yours.