I've started to perceive the defensiveness and extreme sensitivity to criticism (often imagined criticism) that people with shamed planets display in certain situations - whenever they get triggered, essentially.
The question is - how to communicate with people with these avasthas more effectively? It seems like a catch-22 to me, because approaching the topic will in itself be perceived as "shaming" and criticism by the person.
Someone very dear to me has 3 shamed planets - Moon, Venus, Mercury - and before learning about LAs I always sensed that he is very defensive, perceiving criticism in any remotely negative situation. On top of this sensitivity and seeing blame in everything, he is also unable to draw boundaries and communicate when he is not OK with something, despite me asking him (for years) to be more open and just tell me when something bothers him. (shamed Mercury)
Do you have any tips on how these topics can be approached with people, without them closing themselves off and feeling attacked?
The problem with bad LA planets is they are like deep wounds and even if slightly touched trigger a negative response. You need to see which planet is delighting them most and approach via that planet. For example if Saturn is badly hurt and mercury is mostly delighting it among all friendly planets to Saturn then approaching like a friend can help. If that planet is also a temp friend too meaning in nearby 3 signs from each side, then it can work even more effectively.
Yeah right. Sun can also be anything related to career or gifting them books about great and powerful leaders which can motivate them. Sun is also a singer, motivate them to sing!
Here are my thoughts on this…
shamed planets are the hypersensitive points in someone and if they’re not ready to receive information on that it might be best not to force it. I think it’s best to develop a good rapport with them so they begin to open up and trust otherwise you’re just pouring salt on an open wound. A wounded animal will always attack if you try to help it while it’s in a traumatic state. We should approach it very delicately otherwise it can shut them down even more. I agree with Amit to approach it from the positive points impacting the shamed planet. I believe we should always focus on the positive of the chart and build up through their strengths….
"Using" our astrological knowledge in relationships and friendships that aren't about an astrological context can be a slippery slope, for both people concerned. Knowing your own habits, need and purpose in this regard would also help you know better how to communicate. After all, why do you want to talk about their sensitivity, defensiveness and avasthas to them? Is that something they asked your help on? Or is it something that bothers you?
I say this, as it seems you are not really asking in the context of a formal astrological reading, but of someone you know from a long time. If I have misunderstood, I apologize in advance.