I know this is not much of an astrology question, but it still was in my mind for a long period of time, so I thought about asking it out and making it clear. You mentioned in one of your videos about how when you were getting bullied in high school and when it impacted your back, and you realized that your bullies didn't get any love from their parents, and that's why they were bullying you and projecting their own insecurities on you. How did that help you make you feel better? I know it made you realize that it wasn't your fault. But I also get these insights where I realize that when people shame me for something or are angry with me, they are mostly projecting their own insecurities, and I can even get examples from their life why it can be so. It still affects me, even though I have an understanding behind it. It still impacts me emotionally, even though I know it's not my fault. But I'm the one who they chose to take out their anger on, right?
Like if we're walking past a lion in a cage behind the circus, and we pass by it, it kind of scratches our arm and takes off half of the flesh. It's still going to hurt me and pain me, and I'm going to have to suffer those wounds as they heal. And I'm going to have to go through the healing myself, even if I realize that it wasn't my fault, I'm not an animal abuser. It's that lion who was always abused by the circus managers, and that's why it decided to hurt me thinking that I might be one of them. It doesn't matter, even though I realize that I'm not the animal abuser, I'm still the one who's going to have to go through the pain and the healing process.
Like, I made this really lengthy, but I still can't get over why, how, knowing it wasn't our fault, provide any healing or nourishment.
For me it just made me let it all go. So I just did not care if someone tried to bully me, it meant nothing. Where was I used to fight when happened, I became a passivist. In the end, very little is about us. people are going to do what they are going to do. A nice person is going to be nice to everyone. A selfish person will try to take from everyone. So it's not like they did it to you specifically, they did it cause you were there. It's like a lion, its going to eat deer. When they eat a deer, they did it because it was there. Why out of the 20 deer in the herd it ate that one deer because that was the deer that was easiest to eat. It's for each of us to develop an aura of self-respect and confidence and friendliness that makes the lion not eat us.
I believe this happens to many of us. We always wonder why is this person doing this to me when i didn't do anything. I think that is just the way life is. The people who bullied others, i feel sorry for them because that implies to me they are insecure creatures who need to project the power and fear onto other people to validate themselves. The question becomes how do we deal with it? Do we let it bother us or do we ignore it and proceed on with our lives. The thing about the bullies is that if you stand up to them and don't let them bother you, then they move on to the next victim
I read a small book called "how to fight" written by the Budhist monk and he teaches you how to fight peacefully within yourself. It changes my behavior or at least my outlook in life in dealing with certain kind of people
tuyet
I think that part of it is some type of soul contract we've made with another soul - to pay back some karmic debt to one another, to help each other on our path. That "help" may come of course in the form of a huge cruelty or betrayal, for the purpose of evolving in a certain way in this lifetime. Sometimes I think to myself "damn, I must have been a proper a-hole in the previous few lifetimes for people to treat me this way so often" 🙂 There are periods when my relationships with others are highly harmonious and amicable, and in other periods conflicts come seemingly out of nowhere, unprovoked. Either way, it's not healthy or fun to dwell on such matters too much. It's better to focus on our own path and explore our inner workings, improve on ourselves as much as possible.
The fact is humans are very complex and tormented creatures, and sometimes we perform wonderful acts of generosity and kindness, while other times we are cruel, hypocritical, manipulative. Sometimes it's a reaction to the other person saying or doing something, but often it's just something that simply needs to be expressed and it's not relevant to the recipient. We need to look at the patterns. If you keep attracting the same types of betrayals in friendships, or abusive relationships, or dysfunctional work dynamics, well then you really need to look inward. This however requires honesty and courage, the ego won't like it at first.