Almost everyone that is born would have some sort of pain growing up. It could be issues with parents, siblings, friends, grandparents that makes us think we wish things were otherwise. So we just have to make peace that going through these experiences makes the soul grow up in a spiritual level. We will never find perfection anywhere and to seek it instead of making peace with what is, will only lead to more unhappiness. Even though there will be triggers here and there, as we age, we will grow out of it.
starting to have much more trouble than he did at my age.
I meant when he was the age I am now. Not that I am having more trouble than he is currently (He's 75.)
I have an exalted, but waning Moon in my 9th house. Both my parents are fairly healthy other than my dad's heart surgery a few years ago. However, they don't work since Covid times. In fact, my mom quit working when I got my first job out of college years ago. When I was younger she had a paper route with my dad that my siblings and I had to help with when we weren't in school. A couple of years ago, I had a bit of a breakdown from stress due to my job, so when that contract ended I did some therapy at a clinic and discovered and began studying astrology. I quickly got in to the Cards of Truth and decided I wanted to do readings. The problem is of course, this doesn't bring a steady income. I was content for a while living off my savings and to keep studying astrology and trying to grow my business but my parents (mostly my mom) have been nagging me forever to get a real job so that I can help my siblings pay the bills because her and my dad don't work. My mental health has definitely suffered and I've developed other health problems over the last two years. I'm currently contemplating how to move forward because starting over seems terrifying to me for some reason. My Venus is shamed by Sun and Ketu in my 2nd house of Libra and it's also starved by the Moon.
@kam Wow. House of income, responsibility, and self-worth. There is probably some positive room as Venus is in Mulatrikona.
But who all are we responsible for? How much of others' weight and burdens should we agree to take on if it is already challenging enough carrying our own?
How is your Saturn? The god who eats his young.
This may also be about the perceived conflict or incompatibility between goddesses Lakshmi and Saraswati on the spiritual level. This is coming to surface for me recently and is shown by my astrological indicators of the would-be family deity(s). Especially with regard to the D12.
@mitryendra80 It's in my 4th house conjunct Uranus in Sagittarius, in enemy dignity. It gets some starvation from Moon (37 points), Mars (40 points) Sun (17 points) and a little bit of help from Venus (10 points), Mercury (3 points), and neutral Jupiter (55 points). So, not great. I've been in Mo/Sa Dasha since end of 2020.
@kam Well that definitely shows the issues with mother and lack of a stable foundation for mental and emotional security of your own.
It is hard to please both Saraswati and Lakshmi at the same time sometimes.
The 5th lord of creative intelligence, having your own brain children and moving forward, etc. is pulled backward into the 4th house where we need a secure foundation or home, which may not have been provided in childhood and becomes a source of anxiety as we get older.
And the 2nd house, where Ve is shamed, is actually literally considered as both a Lakshmi and a Saraswati house, I think (Though there is nothing written about those deities regarding the 4th and 5th that I know of).
Also interesting that the karaka of the 4th is in the 9th. And 9th lord shamed.
Perhaps more clues and hints will show up a bit later. I am sure there are some astrologers who would diagnose pitru dosha and there is truth to that.
Do you, or your parents and/or your siblings live near a stagnant body of water? Nearby in the neighborhood or close by on the way home? Or in the yard? I have read a while back that that is supposed to be an omen of a type of pitru dosha that usually emphasizes the mother. My own mother has this by the way. And it has definitely proved true.
@mitryendra80 Some interesting observations. Saturn is my MK/PuK. My mother was raised in a poor, rural farming village in Northern India with 6 siblings. She quit school after 8th grade because the teachers physically abused the children who didn't know the answers. She much preferred staying home to do housework and farm work anyways. According to her, she enjoyed it. A fond childhood memory of hers is collecting dried cow dung with her sisters and then struggling to carry the baskets over their heads when they collected too many. For most of her life, she has suffered debilitating migraines most likely as a result of being kicked in the head by a bull as a child. She's very conservative, religious, and oppressed. She wasn't allowed nor encouraged to have friends, listen to music, explore, or play as a child. So that was her basic framework for parenting when she left her home at 20 years old and moved across the world. There's still a bit of a culture shock now when she goes back to visit because the India she knew is so different now, particularly in what women were and weren't allowed to do. She doesn't know her birth date or birth time as she wasn't born in a hospital, but I feel she embodies a strong Queen of Spades type of mother, rather than a Queen of Hearts. She didn't put her own needs first and take care of herself outside her primary role as a wife and mother. I had a much closer bond with my grandmother (mom's mother) than my mom while growing up because I found her less suffocating. I realized years later that this hurt my mom somewhat. It's taken a long time for us to accept our differences and have a close relationship despite of them.
As for the pitru dosha stuff, I'm similar to Manisha in that I can't study the more negative aspects of astrology like that without making myself sick. It's much too fatalistic for me. I'd rather fly apart from the disease. It's probably due to my 3 of Spades Pluto card and Jupiter-Rahu conjunction in my 8th house. What attracts me to astrology is more so learning to understand and accept myself rather than feel condemned for being born. I've also heard enough indian "black magic" stories to stay clear from all that.
@kam I admire that you're able to understand where your Mom is coming from and you have a compassionate appreciation for what she's been through and the life path she had to follow. I guess that's part of the healing process whether the problems are diagnosed and treated from a shamanistic/mytho-poetical and/or energetic perspective(such as "pitru dosha", etc.) or a contemporary psychological cognitive-behavioral one.
It is amazing how there has been such a vast difference between the opportunities available to one generation vs the next one, especially over the past century.
It has always seemed to me that the wounds and legitimate unmet needs of parents are passed-on to the children at some level, or somehow deeply affect the development and life path of the children and become part of the child's own guilt and conflict. The next generation wants to move on to the next step, the next level of existence, even from their own contemporary situation, which is already more savvy than which their parents were in.
There is sometimes this energetic tug-of-war to "pay it backwards". There was this whole dimension of life that the parents were unable to explore due to circumstances and hardships, or were discouraged from exploring due to cultural tradition, yet they put in so much hard work for their family. So it seems understandable that they are either unable to see the value of what the younger generation feels is worth pursuing, or if they do, then they might feel cheated or deprived from their own past. No one wants to feel left-out and left behind.
I also want to add that I myself am naturally naive and ignorant of the natural family dynamics that may unfold in other cultural situations (I'm American myself), so I was in no place to judge what is personally going on. I hope I didn't minimize or trivialize it by mentioning the Pitru Dosha term. However I don't think it necessarily is meant to be approached in a way that condemns us for being born. At least I didn't mean it that way. I think there are as many ways of working with it or improving it as there are traditions around it. Its not just about the novelty for me. It really does explain the bizarre symptoms, dreams, and recurring situations of the past 2+ decades of my own life. The deities are very active and real for me. But so is the void.
However in my own life the negative aspects have always been there and have become almost all-consuming at this point, whether I've known about the connections to yogas and doshas through traditional astrological language or not. They were already there. I would also love to "fly apart" from them too! I guess it could possibly be done depending on other factors in my chart. I am a 3 of spades when sunrise is considered the beginning of the day as Ernst does.
I wish I could use magic myself haha. I not very patient with cognitive behavioral stuff.
Not necessarily black magic though.
@kam Astrology is actually one of the better ways to make money, especially with the global economy we live in. But it does not happen overnight anymore than a dentist makes 500,000 year overnight. A dentist spends 7 or so years going to college, he has an internship. He collects half a million dollars in student debt that he has to begin paying off immediately after gradution. ANyone who loves astrology would spent 7 years developikng as an astrologer and as a person doing readings with the same effort the dentist did would come out making a very good income, and without half a million dollars of debt. So wh en someone says you cant make money as an astrologer, well, you cant make money as a dentist just by saying, I am a dentist, come see me at my new office. They both takes YEARS of time.
@ernst thank you for that perspective, Ernst! Yup, I have a 10 of Diamonds on my Venus card and a 10 of Hearts on Jupiter. Out of all the careers I've tried, this one is my favourite even though it pays the least ha! And with a PV yoga between my 1st/3rd house, I really can't focus on anything else...and I've definitely tried. I think I'm going to have to keep leaning in to my Libra Sun and let my inspiration guide me, despite the strain on my relationships.
When I started studying astrology a few years ago, it felt like a whole heap of negativity. Studying it started making me sick, and I thought this is not the way for me. I already know what is wrong, I don’t need to know that. What I need to know is how to fix it. I don’t need to know whether it is karmic, if it is ancestral, if it is cursed. The energies got written in stone when I was born. There is nothing I can do about it. And because I held certain permutations of the energies within me, I was born in a family that reflected those permutations.
But the energies change every second, every minute, every year. I thought, perhaps, I can work with that. To work in that way brought about its own set of problems because there was a whole lot of other things I needed to learn to accept and learn to let go of. But at least the feeling that ‘I’ was doing something helped me overcome the obstacles and move forward. The more obstacles I overcame, the better I felt and the more confident that this is the right path for me.
I still struggle, but at least I am not completely bound by the energies that I was born with. The only decision I have to make at each step is whether I want to suffer or to not suffer, and things line up according to my decision. The next step I look at is whether ‘I’ am putting up any resistance to what has lined up in my path and why.
I guess this is how one walks into Rahu. One tentative step at a time, not sure if there is firm ground beyond where one is standing. The funny thing is that we are so focused on where to put our next step, that we become unaware of all the help that is around us that will step in to get us back on our feet if we fall.
Saturn is the God who eats his young, but he was also the child of Gaia who stepped forward to help her in her time of need and rescued her other children. Even though Saturn ate his young, Jupiter got saved and who in turn freed all his siblings.
With regards to your question about who all are we responsible for, I have found that just by being responsible to ourselves helps being responsible for others. The theme of the last 2000+ years have been about being a martyr. If it is true about the Age of Aquarius, then we are all shedding off the vestiges of that feeling of martyrdom.
No, I am not saying to ignore the avasthas. What I meant was, I was trying to figure out an equation with astrology, looking for that astrology part that would balance both sides of the equation. Nice and orderly. But I had to learn that in life, equations don't often get balanced. Its not a matter of a = b, its a matter of a is not equal to be, and that's okay. It was through the avasthas, and through the understanding i got about life and myself through astrology that I was able to accept the equation as is.
@ernst Thanks for taking time to clarify. It just gets a bit abstract for me sometimes.