Hi friends. I’m in need of some help. Thank you very much in advance.
For context, I’m currently running Rahu Pratyantar dasa. She’s in the 8th in Leo, no cusp. My Sun is in the 12th conjunct Pluto.
Ever since I started Rahu’s PD, I’ve been having newfound panic attacks. Never really had them before, and it’s getting worse. I’ve always had a fear around losing control of my mind and cognitive function.
2 months ago, I had a session with my somatic coach. We start off the call by me opening up to her about how life has been. After I began, I got a panic attack that I could not get out of. After 20+ minutes of trying to regulate, I had to end the call and do it on my own. I always feared “losing control” around another person, too.
Today, I was going about my work at a cafe, same thing I do every day, and then all of a sudden I get a panic attack out of no where. Head started getting dizzy, warmth in body, heart racing, arm tingling, sweaty and cold hands.
It’s important to add that I typically drink two cappuccinos and intake 6-9mg worth of nicotine pouches almost daily. Maybe I’m more sensitive during Rahu PD and should cut it out?
Any advice on how to overcome this fear? Can anyone relate?
Stop these sessions where you dig in the trauma. It's not for now.
A friend of a friend is terribly under panic attacks, since many years. It's incredible how far it can go. She somehow manages to keep living and taking care of her 2 children, but so limiting, she cannot even eat in any restaurant, drink from the cup at a friend's home... Of course she cannot to take any medicine. Almost anything can trigger the panic attack. Anyway, that kind of therapies which go into the trauma have been always very bad for her. She has tried very many things.
And coffee is not helping your nervous system. Without it your nervous system can better start to come back towards a regulation.
Move your body, exercise, run, swim, whatever, long time, get tired. It will also help you going towards self-regulation. (I guess you are young)
Feel the company of God or imagine being supported, embraced, imagine it very physically, by something powerful friendly, loving, it makes something in the neurons, and focus on keeping calm despite whatever, sometimes you'll succeed. And cherishing any tiny little improvement, at a certain point it will pass, everything passes, as an old friend used to say in a funny suburbial comedy way.
Whatever feels good, spend time with it.
No idea about what Rahu in 8th could be doing.
You are at the beginning, good, take care, hope you sleep enough.
All the best.
@marianela Hi Marianela! Thank you dearly for this advice.
I cut out caffeine and nicotine for almost 4 days now. My body does feel more regulated. My heart feels at home when it beats, calmly and peacefully. I've been taking cold plunges these last few days to reset my system and to help with my caffeine withdrawals, works like a charm.
RE Feeling the company of God -- I agree. I don't do this enough, yet it does wonders. I think it's easy to think that "my body is turning against me, therefore God is turning against me" but that is not so. Someone below said to turn the fears into friends and that they are there to liberate.
@marianela Rahu 8th is hiden knowledge ocult its a dustana house ,secrets surgions dodctors spys emergencys Kali dark forces deep desires for security satlements and shared resorses ,very chalenging to go to this jungle but once you do then all of it will pass and you will find the greatest fear will become your greatest gifts realestate if you have beneficks in the 4th, computers fame power,but it alwas feels like insecure,just find your spiritual security then you will be fine try many mantras to see witch one suits you and less meat, nicotine patch HELL no or the gum even worse just cut down much as you can, i know because of the hubbet it is hard so what i did i just started to puff instead and less inhaling, and dont consiel the truth from your loved ones .If aspects the 12 house then a lot of risks taken,and a lot of ryvery from inharitance from father living early droping school or conflicks with religion or gurus and forein resisdents, after 42 you will be much easier. i hope this helps . Manny blessings
@enikokonrad Hi Eniko :). Thank you for taking the time to write back to me.
I love how you mentioned Kali. I just bought a Canvas Print of her. She represents my life quite along with other planetary placements I have. I love dark feminine energy, yet with Rahu there, I'm a bit scared of it as well. It's underdeveloped.
I'm excited for the day when my greatest fears will become my greatest gifts. I have trust that this will happen.
I've fully cut out nicotine and coffee since making this post. It has really helped my nervous system.
"The key is to find your spiritual security" -- well put.
Can't wait for Rahu's maturation. 17 years to go 😉
Marianela gave very good advice that I completely agree with. All stimulants are going to increase the frequency and intensity of panic attacks. Best thing to do is wean off the stimulants in order to bring the nervous system back into a state of homeostasis and balance if quitting cold turkey is too difficult.
Being in the fear of “losing control” denotes suppressed or ignored emotions over a long period of time coming to the surface in a forceful way. Trying to control it will cause more friction between the mind and the emotions, making it worse as time passes.
After a long period of time, it becomes difficult for the mind to separate the different emotions present in this sudden rise of feeling, causing it to not be able to deal with it properly and reading it as a “loss of control”.
I have learnt to deal with my own surges of chaotic emotions and the rare panic attacks. It works for me and the emotions and panic attacks around that particular reason or incident subsides, leaving me feeling back in control. The same feelings do arise again, but in different contexts at different points in time, and I find that slowly I have started to depend on this process to regulate the body system.
The first point is to recognise when the panic attack happened or happens - what was the thought that was coming into consciousness or what was happening or what you were about to do or planning to do when everything went haywire. In this case, when you were conversing with your coach, there would have been a subconscious thought or the remembrance of a subconscious incident that brought up the storm, making the mind unable to cope with it and hence resulting in a panic attack. Same thing when you were at work.
If you can remember what it was about, you will have to work with your thoughts, memories, interpretations, etc. to be able to neutralise it. That will take time and work depending on how old you are. If you can’t remember the reason for it, the best thing might be to remember the feeling of the panic attack, and then when you are safe at home or with a trusted person who is present physically, you can remember how the panic attack felt and allow it freedom in a controlled environment. So, basically you are reliving the panic attack but now you have control over it, not the other way round. Slowly, the emotions will dissipate and the mind will understand the feelings behind it all and start feeling in control again, enough to be able to sort out the root of the problem.
Unfortunately, none of this is easy and will need a lot of courage and a true need to break through. Best to find a good counsellor, preferably who is present physically, who deals in mind-body connection, or if you want to do it yourself, read up on it first and understand it, so that when you experience it, you will ‘get’ what is happening and be able to direct things properly.
Going cold turkey with regards to the coffee and nicotine patches at this time will cause more stress to the system that is already dealing with other problems.
@manisha Hey Manisha! Thanks so much for taking the time to write this great advice.
I've started to analyze the situation around the attacks -- the environment, what I was thinking, drinking, etc. I've connected some dots.
1+ hours before the attack, I drank a cappuccino. A few minutes or so before, I put a nicotine pouch under my lip for like 30 seconds. My period was a few days away, and I was in quite the irritated mood naturally. So it seems like it was partially triggered by the stimulants and hormones. Maybe there are other triggers I'm not yet aware of I'll keep observing and analyzing...
Thank you again!
Looks like you are on top of things. A reminder just in case you missed it, Pluto will be transiting your Ketu for the next number of years, if I have understood your Rahu position correctly. Take care.
@manisha Yes, thank you for thinking of that! I also have a tight Ketu-Mars conjunction.
Perhaps lots of changes related to 2nd house things. Self-worth, resources, those closest to me.
Ketu is actually closest to my 1st cusp. So in general, I think Pluto will also transform my self-esteem, path in life, and who I am, helping me to change things that are not serving me.
Mars should give me a whole lot of energy to do this. Thought he likely won't come without his negatives :).
So how about in the middle, not quit cold turkey as it might be too stressful for the body to take, but cut down 50% usage of coffee and nicotine patches?
tuyet
@tuyetv I sometimes have all or nothing tendencies, so I quit nicotine cold turkey 3 days ago. I gave myself a few days to decrease my caffeine intake and today is my first day without caffeine.
Nicotine withdrawals gave me irritability, but that seems to be gone now. Caffeine withdrawals gave me headaches, but a cold plunge seems to solve that 🙂
@curioussoul Hi, thank you for sharing your personal experiences! I am reminded that many, many years ago, I also struggled with panic attacks. They were closely connected to the functioning of my heart. I became very sensitive to even the smallest irregularity in my heartbeat, and whenever it was out of sync, the panic attack would begin – of course, I would feel very strong palpitations. A few times, I called emergency services, and each time during the conversation, I calmed down again. It's very interesting to look back and see what was happening then. I married a man I wasn’t happy with, and he had no understanding of my mental struggles – the attacks got worse because of that. They disappeared as suddenly as they appeared with my pregnancy, and they never came back, which I find very surprising. I believe that my protective instinct for the child was so strong that it distracted me from my own physical sensitivity. Hormones must have played a role too. I have Rahu in Scorpio with my 8th cusp. Over the years, I have learned to trust that my heart is strong. Stimulants, by the way, also played a big role as triggers. But there is definitely a deeper cause as well. I have found that it is an absolutely existential fear of dying. Rationality doesn’t help much with that. Today, I see it more relaxed because I know that the right moment to die will simply come, and when it does, so be it. But what was absolutely important was learning and recognizing that I am strong and have a strong body.
@tamarap Hi Tamara! I just saw this. Thank you so much for sharing...typing out our fears isn't an easy thing to do, especially for those like us who have Rahu in the 8th.
Wow--in the beginning of my Rahu pratyantar dasa, I too was very aware of my heartbeat at night and it would cause worry. That makes sense that the attacks got worse when married to a man you weren't happy with -- perhaps because your body knew he was the wrong man? Did you feel safe with him?
Wow @ finding out the deeper cause was from the fear of dying. And yup, same here, rationality does not help at all. Even affirmations like, "I am safe" make it worse. They in fact make me feel less safe! So interesting, isn't it?
This inspires me to also believe that the inside functioning of body and mind are strong and are working with me, never against me. Now I also need to do the hard work of finding out why the heck I don't believe this in the first place.
Thank you so much 🙂
I really believe that the key for me was learning to TRUST MY BODY. The body is intelligent and strong—it can endure sooooooo much, really- it´s amazing-Just think of how humanity survived throughout all this time!.
I was married to a man who never made me feel safe. F.ex. when talking to others, he didn’t speak about my panic issue in a supportive way. But beyond that, I believe panic attacks are rooted in trauma—something you’ve experienced. In my case, I am sure it goes back to my birth. There was already a sense of abandonment and fear. I was left in the hospital for eight weeks right after birth due to a health issue, and at that time, mothers couldn’t visit their babies often. The concept of prenatal psychology seems to be interesting as well because: How your mother and even father feel about you already before birth- you feel it in the womb- I am persuaded. For example my father didnt want me - this was very hard for my mother- she must have thought to maybe abort me. With the meens of some trance technique, without having had planned it- it was possible for me to see my conception and a clear message came up to me: that I wasn´t welcome. That´s tough but in the end my parents loved me when I was there. And there is no guilt to feel for them afterwards, because they themselves experienced that too. But thats maybe another story.
Even now, I’m still working through it. Somatic bodywork and dance—to revisit those emotions and allow myself to feel them and in a way then comfort myself. I don’t think this is something we can fully access rationally. I’m a big believer in somatic bodywork because our bodies remember everything. I think everything is stored in our cells, so it makes sense to use the body as a way to access certain things.
Emotions often manifest in specific areas of the body. Of course, when having a panic attack, it’s not helpful AT ALL to focus on that area directly. I think distraction is important—distraction and affirmations. To find the right affirmation and to work with them regularly and not only when the panic attac happens- thats important, this way they anchor in your mind. I remind myself that the body is intelligent and strong, and that I am safe in the universe because the universe wanted me to be here and thats a wonder. Its a process and takes time. But it gets better I would say after critical planetary maturations the latest.
@tamarap Wow, thank you again for sharing your story and advice. First off, I'm so sorry that you were left alone without your mother in those first 8 weeks of your life. That's major separation trauma! And yes, I wholeheartedly agree that the energy of the parents affects the baby in the womb. It seems to have been a rough start to life, but it also seems like you've put in tremendous effort and surrender to get to where you are now. I'm sending your inner child much love <3.
I love how you mentioned somatic bodywork. That was my first experience with therapy that started one year before my Moon's maturation. I remember the first session with her when she asked me to tap into what my body was saying and I was like, "what? My body can say things?"
I worked with her for about <2 years and then stopped because I actually got a panic attack in the beginning of our session. My body began to think that she was the "enemy" even though she did nothing wrong. I was feeling anxious/nervous before the call too...I should've listened to my body and have rescheduled or something like that.
Which leads me to what you said about trusting the body. 100%. It's such a process. I'm only about 2 years into it. I have Saturn on my 4th cusp and Scorpio Moon on my 10th cusp (lowest in dig bala), so I've unintentionally made a lot of damaging decisions that left my body in emotional pain. I only realized this after I began my inner work journey. I'd feel all of this anxiety and think something was wrong with me instead of knowing that it was just my actions that were not aligned with my body.
Thank you again for sharing. Your responses have been very helpful and supportive 🙂
I also love dance :). What kind do you do?
@curioussoul I am curious: What was the reaction and approch of your somatic therapist when facing your panic attac?
I’ll try to summarize briefly what happened to me in two of these somatic sessions. I spent eight weeks in the hospital due to dysplasia in both of my hip joints right after birth. In my 40s, hip problems have started to manifest as pain.
Through both somatic therapists, we discovered that something was wrong with my left hip. Something strange happened when one of the therapists worked on my left hip. At that exact moment, three people called me, one after the other—my, at that time partner, my ex-partner, and my mother. This was very unusual, as my Mother and my Ex rarely called me, and even more unusual one after the other in a very brief time.
My hip issue was directly connected to these people. And my somatic therapist had a vision of these people “hanging” onto my left hip—clinging to my feminine, nurturing side.
Somatic bodywork is so fascinating. Sometimes, it’s enough to simply bring your awareness into your body and engage in physical disciplines that sharpen this awareness. Emotions are located in the body. They can have a color and a shape. And then, you can work on transforming this “thing.” But that’s just one approach. But again- when the panic attack is connected to very high body - awareness and- alertness it is better to practice it when you feel more stable. I had to sidetrack my awareness when facing the attacks directly. It´s a process!
I have tried all kinds of dance forms, starting with classical ballet, but also modern dance and flamenco. The one that has impacted me the most is Japanese Butoh dance. If you were to assign a zodiac sign to it, it would be Scorpio. It’s all about transformative processes. That is incredibly fascinating, you become everything. A cloud, a pond, a flower, another character, another gender, a poem...
I am sure you will find a way! And Astrology is a huge help!